Gay Barbie Song Hogwarts Style
by MelMoe-numbaonesince-1988
Summary: Title pretty much explains it.  Don't forget to Review.  Rated M just to be safe.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or this song I used. Though if I did I would rule the world. *Puts pinky to lips and smirks* Mwaha...Mwahahahahahahahaha. *Sighs* I'll give credit where it's due. J.K.R owns HP and Andy Dick sings the Gay Barbie Song. **

_

* * *

_

Hi-Ya Garrett!

_Hi Raul! _

_You Wanna Go For a Ride? _

_On What? ON THIS!_

"Hey-ya Harry." a tall lean red headed male said to his best friend.

"Oh hey Ron. What's up?" the raven haired boy said. His emerald eyes taking in his friends irritated expression.

"Wanna take a ride?" Ron asked. Harry cocked his brow and looked at him. The freckle faced boy cracked a smile. "Only kidding mate. Anyways. Did you hear about Draco?" There was a long pause. "He's bi." Both boys smirked. "Only bloody thing about that those is Pansy's dating him."

_Barbie's Such a Bitch _

_She Is Just A Witch _

_I Really Hate Her _

_Why Does Ken Date Her? _

"God I cant stand her. I mean come on she's like the biggest bitch in the school." Harry fumed. Ron nodded his agreement.

"She thinks she's the shit or something. " Ron crossed his arms over his chest. There was a pout on his face.

"I hate her effing guts. You know?" Seeing a nodded from his best mate gave him the courage to continue on. "I don't understand why Draco is dating her. There are better fish in the see." Ron looked at him like he was mad. "It's a muggle saying. You wouldn't understand."

_Ken Is Such A Man _

_I Do All I Can Just To Do Him(Yes) _

_We Just Wanna Screw Him _

"Draco…." Ron trailed off as an image of the said boy flashed in his mind. "God he his just soooo…mmmmm. All those hard lean muscles. I drool just thinking about him." Smiling Ron licked his lips thinking about about the things he would do to get in bed with him.

"Could you imagine sleeping with him?" Harry sucked in air. "I think I would go to the ends of the world if I could do him one time." Ron nodded once more. "It's agreed then…"

"We both wanna screw him." they said together.

_(She's Such A Bitch I Wanna Scratch Her Eyes Out) _

"She is so bitchy and bossy I would take my hands and scratch her bloody eyes out." Ron said his face going red as he thought about Pansy once more.

_I have Dreams About Ken _

_Being Inside My Den _

_And We Hold And We Kiss _

_Like Were Sweethearts _

"You wanna know something?" Harry asked putting his hands on Ron's shoulders to calm him down. Ron took a few deep breaths and nodded. "I dream about Draco and I. So hot. If I could I would show you what I mean. MMMMMmmmm" Harry shivered remembering some of those hot and sweaty dreams he's had. "Anyways. I have more dreams where we are in love and walk about kissing and holding hands. The best part of those is he's not afraid to be seen with me." he said in a dreamy voice.

_But That Barbie's A Slut _

_With Her Cute Little Butt _

_And I Guess Ken Likes Boobs _

_Made of Fake Parts _

Ron interrupted Harry's thoughts. "But Pansy is a slut. I wish I had a cute little butt like her." Ron steamed. With a smirk he looked at Harry. "I guess Draco likes people who are fake." Harry gave him a questioningly look. "Ohh you didn't know? Pansy had boob implants. They are 100% fake. I mean come on. Nobody's boobs can grow that big over the holidays. From what I heard they were a present from her sugar daddy."

_And I Cry Everyday _

_Cause Straight Up _

_That Bitch Is In My Way! _

_...OoOo..._

"You know I cry because that bitch in my way. She is the only thing stopping me from getting Draco." Harry's voice was whinny when he said this. "Ooo!" Harry balled his fists into balls and stomped his foot.

_Barbie Is A Bitch _

_She Is Just A Witch _

_I Really Hate Her _

_Why Does Ken Date Her? _

"Like I said she was a bitch. Now that I think about it she's so evil I think she is a Death Eater." Harry ran his fingers through his hair.

"I hate her so much. I really can't understand why Draco dates her. I mean come ON!" Ron growled.

_Ken Is Such A Man _

_I Do All I Can _

_Just To Do Him _

_We Wanna Screw Him _

"Draco is a man in every sense of the word. I would do all I can…"

"Just to do him. We so wanna screw him." Ron interrupted.

_When I See Her _

_I Will Knee Her _

"Next time I see that Pansy bitch. I'll knee her. I know it hurts girls just like it does guys. I've done it to Ginny before."

_...OoOot-OoOot-OooO... _

"OoOo. OoOo. OooO" Harry cooed liking the idea.

_I Will Punch Her _

_And Ill Crunch Her_

"I'll punch her so hard in the face that the bones in her nose will make a crunching sound. Break the fake ass nose of her too." Ron went on.

_...oOoHh Ohhh Yes... _

Harry's eyes lit up hearing this. "Ooooo Oh yes." he exclaimed.

_Hey Garrett _

_What Raul _

_Look Who's Over There _

_Well If It Isn't Barbie Without Ken _

_And That Stupid California Dream Van _

"Hey Harry."

"What Ron?"

"Look at who's over there." Ron smiled.

"Well if it isn't Pansy without Draco and that sexy Italian dream man." Harry said pleased.

_Hey Barbie Its Us _

_Come Over Here..Look _

_Right Over Here Missy _

"HEY PANSY IT'S US. Come over here." Harry called out waving her over.

"Look over here. Pans." Ron added. Pansy looked over and smirked walking over to them.

"What do you want Potty and Weasel?" she asked them. She grinned seeing their clothes. "How can you say you're gay if you dress like that?"

_(fighting, Punching Sounds and Cursing)_

Ron and Harry glared at her then looked at each other and nodded. One of them grabbed her by the hair. The other started punching. "Take that you little slut, you hooker, you bitch." Harry said hitting her anywhere possible.

Still holding her hair Ron yanked her head back and scratched at her face. "I'll scratch your bloody eyes out. Ken's mine." he hissed out. They kept pounding on her until she crumpled at their feet.

"Oops sorry. Let's get the hell out of here." Harry said and grabbed Ron's hand and took off running towards the castle. They were so not going to get in trouble. Besides who would believe Pansy Bitch about it? Everyone knows how she is torturing everyone she can.

* * *

**A/N I was listening to the song while reading a HP fanfic and the idea popped into my head. That was a few days ago. And then like it drived me crasy (I spelled those words wrong on purpose) until I made it a fic. Now maybe I can have some peace when I try to sleep. Doubt it though. My mind never shuts off...*mind shuts off*...**

***starts drooling...snorts and jerks awake* Ok so I lied. My bad. Get over it.**


End file.
